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For when you are smoking mad and just need to light something on fire. Bypass the felony and release your inner pyromaniac at one of these flame-friendly restaurants. Fantastic food, cocktails and conversation will have you feeling like yourself in no time. And perhaps next time you are feeling burned up inside- you’ll automatically reach for a fork instead of a matchbook.

EAST VILLAGE
Bourgeois Pig
[111 E. 7th St.] [212.475.2246]

A pig’s head door knocker and slight host are the only identifiers at this East Village restaurant. Put your name in and head across the street to their former location and current wine and ceviche bar. Once inside antique armchairs and lavish wallpaper set the stage for sweet and savory fondues- including an especially delicious seasonal Pumpkin Raclette. Meticulously concocted champagne punch is served in a silver punch bowl- and a delight.

MIDTOWN WEST
Wonjo
[23 W. 32nd St.] [212.695.5815]

Charcoal tabletop grills make this the Korean BBQ spot to go to when other neighborhood places have replaced theirs with gas. The smoke filled room and 24 hour policy makes this the perfect retreat for cocktails and DIY grilling that will make you feel very far from home.

WEST VILLAGE
August
[359 Bleecker St.] [212.929.8727]

While you won’t actually get to play with the fire- you can saddle up near enough to it. The wood burning oven is the focus here and turns out first-rate dishes including slow cooked pig, roasted beets, sweetbreads, and an Alsatian onion and bacon tart that is to die for.

MIDTOWN EAST
Gyu-Kaku
[805 3rd Ave.] [212.702.8816]

The Japanese take on Korean BBQ. You pick your meat (including kobe beef, short ribs, skirt steak, and tongue.) And start grilling. Almost everything comes in convenient foiled packets that you throw on the grill (try the garlic mushrooms or asparagus.) There are even s’mores for dessert. Brunch and lunch will get you the best deals.

Well maybe not the world… but Stephanie who up until a week ago subsisted off of some combination of bread, cheese, and sugar – discovered due to a yeast & mold allergy that she can no longer eat any of them (as well as no mushrooms, wine, vinegar, and a whole slew of other things that make eating, never mind eating out, seem like a rather impossible task.) Try the following restaurants for some delicious yeast-free eats (with or without Stephanie.)

MIDTOWN WEST
Better Burger
[587 9th Ave.] [212.629.6622]

With burgers and dogs made with 100% meat there is no chance of yeast-infected fillers in the mix. Skip the bun and top with soy American, red onions and zesty guacamole. Oven baked fries round out the meal- and an ingredient book makes is really easy to check which tempting condiments work for you. Additional locations include Chelsea & Murray Hill.

SOHO
The Yoghurt Place
[71 Sullivan St.] [212.219.3500]

Greek yogurt! It’s thick, creamy, delicious and due to live cultures – totally acceptable to eat (don’t ask me why yeast running around in one thing is bad and cultures running around in another is good but it works.) Replace your ice cream fix with yogurt topped with nuts and honey. It’s truly lovely. And while you are there pick up some tzatziki for home.

UPPER WEST SIDE
Café Viva
[2578 Broadway] [212.663.8482]

Pizza. Yes, Pizza. Luckily for Stephanie their Pizza Pura is made with a yeast free, dairy free & wheat free crust and is available “Naturale” topped with organic tomato sauce, miso tofu, eggplant, zucchini, red pepper & spinach or “Vegetarian” topped with organic tomato sauce, onions, broccoli, and soy cheese (hold the mushrooms.) And luckily for you, it’s quite tasty as well.

WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN
Chai Home Kitchen
[124 N. 6th St.] [718.599.5889]

Forget Stephanie- head here for fantastic peanut dumplings, curries, and an excellent duck tamarind. And because most Thai dishes are rice based and soy sauce free it just happens to be generally yeast-free (but double check with your server to make sure!)

If you’re in a more-the-merrier mood, saddle up with strangers at one of these communal tables. The environment is noisy, casual, and full of unpredictable encounters. And with diners in all stages of their meal you can conveniently check out their food (or ask how it is) without the awkward neck craning.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Kampuchea
[78 Rivington St.] [212.529.3901]

Start with a few of their Cambodian small plates (the pork belly and baby back ribs are both stellar) and if you are a pair split the Num Pang sandwich tasting for two. The sandwiches are served on a toasted baguette and topped with pickled carrots, cilantro and chili mayo – pulled oxtail, catfish, and coconut tiger shrimp are favorites. And happily, pickled vegetables pack a punch and accompany most dishes.

MIDTOWN WEST
Bon Appétit Supper Club & Café
[221 W. 57th St.]

Give Chipotle a break, for two weeks only (October 23-31) Bon Appétit will open a restaurant to cure your midtown lunch woes (the suppers are by invitation only). So grab a seat with a co-worker at one of the large communal tables brought in just for this occasion and enjoy Charlie Trotter’s leek soup, Mario Batali’s chorizo empanda, and Michael Psilakis’ greek salad (check out the full menu). As if you needed an additional draw there will be chef demos, Q&A’s, and book signings.

UNION SQUARE
Republic
[37 Union Square West] [212.627.7172]

The super-sized communal tables and quick turn over allows this trendy Thai restaurant to keep their prices low (with nearly everything around $10). The cold beef noodles, pad thai, and curry duck noodles are all sure bets. And the fried wontons and coconut shrimp are fantastic accompaniments.

WILLIAMSBURG
DuMont Burger
[314 Bedford Ave.] [718.384.6127]

Head to the offshoot of DuMont for a good burger, a beer, and 30 new friends- grab a seat where you can and enjoy some tasty comfort food. The burger is solid, and if you aren’t in the mood the pulled pork and mac & cheese are more than suitable substitutions.

So you’ve scored a date with the online lady of your dreams only to wake up realizing you have pinkeye, a lazy eye, acne or some other mild deformity that was obviously altered out of your match.com profile. Slip into one of these dimly lit eateries before she has time to write you off without learning your personality is lacking as well.

PROSPECT HEIGHTS, BROOKLYN
Beast
[638 Bergen St.] [718.399.6855]

The dungeon-esq room and monsters on the wall will do much to soften your shortcomings. And the food will highlight your good taste. Enjoy inventive tapas categorized by element, excellent Spanish cheeses, and a thoughtful wine list. If you chance to spend the night (or strike out bitterly) you can always return for brunch the next morning where chorizo hash and a bloody mary will comfort you.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Suba
[109 Ludlow St.] [212.982.5714]

Head down to the “Grotto” dining room where you can enjoy highly crafted small plates and super creamy rice dishes a top a pool of water. If octopus is on the menu order it- while the tentacles may look like they crawled out of the moat beside you, the crispy suction cups and succulent interior will have both you and your date cheering bravery and its delicious rewards.

WEST VILLAGE
Camaje
[85 MacDougal St.] [212.673.8184]

What better way to trick a blind date than to actually blindfold them? This West Village French-American bistro does just that at their special “Dark Dining” dinners. And while it might be tricky to get the blindfold on before the introduction- the four-course meal will give you plenty of time to woo your date’s four remaining senses.

MIDTOWN WEST
Amalia
[85 MacDougal St.] [212.673.8184]

Enjoy cocktails and snacks in the dimly lit subterranean lounge D’Or. Or if you’re ready to confront your subconscious (and a bit more light) head upstairs for dinner at Amalia (aptly named after Freud’s mother.) There you can dine on Mediterranean food and avoid eye contact by gazing at the paintings mounted on the ceiling.