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If your friend is a total boozehound who won’t step foot anywhere that doesn’t visibly look like it can keep him properly imbibed – don’t cringe when he suggests “dinner” at one of his favorite dives. Instead steer him to one of the following bars – that just happen to dish out excellent food as well.

WEST VILLAGE
Blind Tiger Ale House
[281 Bleecker St.] [212.462.4682]

This brew pub with a barnyard feel serves a fantastic banh mi, “Bloody Beast” (a neat little roast beef slider with cheddar, red onion, and bloody mary sauce) deviled eggs, and a Murray’s cheese plate. Just as enticing are the 28 beers on tap – and the fact you can pack one up in a growler for home.

EAST VILLAGE
Jimmy’s No. 43
[43 E. 7th St.] [212.982.3006]

He will like the beer sausage, mussels in beer, and excellent selection of German, Belgian, and American craft beers. You’ll like that everything is organic, locally sourced, and positively delicious. The menu changes nightly – so try as much as you can… and wash it down with a cold one.

PARK SLOPE
Beer Table
[427 7th Ave.] [718.965.1196]

Delicious and decidedly dedicated to beer – this Park Slope favorite has excellent food as well. Even better, make reservations for this Monday and be there when they partner with Saxelby Cheesemongers. Fifty dollars gets you five brews and five cheeses (all which promise to be superbly curated and delightfully interesting: Italian-made, Belgian-style beer paired with American-made, Italian-style cheese.)

WEST VILLAGE
Wilfie & Nell
[228 W. 4th St.] [212.242.2990]

Saddle up with a sidecar and Berkshire pork sliders, scotch and scotch eggs, a beer and a corned-beef sandwich, and assorted bacon-y things with well more assorted bacon-y things. The drinks are well-constructed, the crowd pretty, and the kitchen happily open until 2am.

Instead of the usual resolutions:

1. Lose 20 lbs because you’ve turned into a Christmas ham.
2. Go to the gym (so #1 can be possible.)
3. Eat out less (because you’re broke and wasted money on yet another gym membership you’ll never use.)
4. Anything to do with “getting” or “keeping” a man.

Why not seek out the holy grail of food? Because really nothing about 1-4 sounds like any fun at all.

EAST VILLAGE
Momofuku Ko
[163 First Ave.] [No Phone.]

Because even if your fingers and luck are both on their A-game at 10 am to land you one of the 12 heavily sought after seats – there is still the $100 to pay for it (although with 10 courses and David Chang’s godly inventiveness it is really quite a good deal.) So start packing PB&J, save your lunch money, do some finger crunches (or bribe someone at Time Warner to accidentally shut off internet to everyone save you and Mr. Chang) and then please – take me.

ROVING
Mister Softee
[Various Locations.] [No Phone.]

After a failed summer ’08 chasing every truck that went through the neighborhood in hopes of the elusive blueberry dipped cone we will not accept defeat in ’09. Having been spotted on a truck at McCarron Pool but never materializing the hunt is on. Keep us posted if you spy the rare creation yourself.

WEST VILLAGE
The Waverly Inn
[16 Bank St.] [No Phone.]

Not that I think the mac and cheese could possibly justify a near $50 price tag – or the exclusivity that surrounds the Graydon Carter’s Waverly Inn. But perhaps they could just instate reservations so that we don’t have to read about it so much. And yes, you can just show up early, smile sweetly and hope that they’ll let you in – but is it even possible to enjoy truffle fries wondering if you’ve been seated in less posh “Siberia” section?

PROSPECT HEIGHTS, BROOKLYN
The Garden Café
[620 Vanderbilt Ave.] [718.857.8863]

Okay- so you have to peer through a window and closed gate to see if this restaurant is open (dinner only and subject to the owners’ vacations) which is slightly intimidating for a restaurant that otherwise is defined by its unassuming grace. Call ahead instead and gain entry to what is rumored to be one of loveliest – and more economical restaurants – at only $32 for three courses.

Pack your favorite ladies, some booze (where applicable), and a fight-worthy grab gift to partake in some real holiday fun (not the kind you have been pretending to have with your folks all week.) For a real treat trade up at one of these swap-happy restaurants where you can pass presents, drinks, and food.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Kuma Inn
[113 Ludlow St. - 2nd Fl.] [212.353.8866]

The delicious Asian tapas will keep you from fighting over the gifts (and have you fighting over the food instead!) The lengthy menu (and added specials) means there is no shortage of things to choose from and the drunken shrimp, Chinese sausage, and mussels in coconut curry are all top picks. Bonus- the b.y.o.b. policy will make sure you are passing the wine liberally as well.

EAST VILLAGE
Mercadito
[179 Ave. B] [212.529.6490]

Chef Patricio Sandoval devised tacos meant for sharing- agree to each pick a different one (at last count there were ten options plus specials.) Don’t skip the carne, carnitas, or camaron. Top it off with a couple orders of the guacamole sampler and as many rounds of margaritas as you can handle (made strong and with fresh squeezed juice.)

SOHO
Boqueria
[171 Spring St.] [212.343.4255]

The brand new location and hipper neighborhood will give your friends the wow factor – while chef Seamus Mullen’s (of Suba and Boqueria Flatiron) reputation ensures the food will be divine as well. Take over the large table and order the Paella Valencia and then add on whatever tapas strike your fancy. The Escudella, Txipirones, and Brandada de Bacalao should not be missed.

DUMBO, BROOKLYN
Superfine
[126 Front St.] [718.243.9005]

Okay, so the name alone would be reason enough to start a ruckus girl’s night out here. Luckily though the first-rate pork chop, house-made sausage, and well-constructed drinks do not disappoint. The pool table, live music, and cute bartenders mean that your party will continue (and potentially grow) even after you finish dessert.

You flirt shamelessly. He’s says, “Let’s do dinner Thursday night- you pick the place.” You say, “Great it’s a date” and then cringe- is it really a date? Like a date-date? Why did you have to say the word date? And even though he is the one that did the asking, you’re the one feeling like you are about to be rejected – and you have to pick the place. Choose one of these carefully middling restaurants where you can play cordial until you are comfortably feeding each other dessert at the end.

PARK SLOPE, BROOKLYN
Al di la
[248 Fifth Ave.] [718.783.4565]

The communal tables here are not the ruckus they are at say, Kampuchea. But they will still grant you the illusion of being out with a group (even if it is a group that has absolutely no interest in talking to you.) Handmade pastas are superb. As are the braised rabbit and hanger steak. By the time you get to the gianduitto (an amazing chocolate gelato with hazelnuts) you’ll have forgotten everyone else in the room.

EAST VILLAGE
Chiyono
[328 E. 6th St.] [212.673.3984]

This charming Japanese restaurant is hidden in the midst of curry row. Slip in and feel quite far away while you enjoy braised pork belly, miso cod, fried oysters, and plum pickles straight from Iwaki, Japan (and the Chef’s mother’s garden no less.) By the end of the Omakase Tasting (a terrific value at $30) you will feel the urge to never return to the outside world.

FORTE GREENE, BROOKLYN
Pequeña
[86 S. Portland Ave.] [718.643.0000]

Yes, it is small. Which means you’ll have no choice but to be up close and personal with your date. The black bean and plantain quesadilla is fantastic – as are the fish tacos. And really- what better test is there than a couple margaritas to discover that you both have secretly wanted to make out for months.

HARLEM
Zoma
[2084 Frederick Douglass Blvd.] [212.662.0620]

On the one hand sharing your food is quite romantic. On the other, eating with your hands generally is not so much. Zoma magically combines both. The Harlem Ethiopian eatery sports low lights and superbly flavored food. Try one of the samplers for two and feed each other slow cooked stews, lentils, and vegetables with bits of injera- flat bread that here (happily) isn’t as spongy as other Ethiopian joints.

For when you are smoking mad and just need to light something on fire. Bypass the felony and release your inner pyromaniac at one of these flame-friendly restaurants. Fantastic food, cocktails and conversation will have you feeling like yourself in no time. And perhaps next time you are feeling burned up inside- you’ll automatically reach for a fork instead of a matchbook.

EAST VILLAGE
Bourgeois Pig
[111 E. 7th St.] [212.475.2246]

A pig’s head door knocker and slight host are the only identifiers at this East Village restaurant. Put your name in and head across the street to their former location and current wine and ceviche bar. Once inside antique armchairs and lavish wallpaper set the stage for sweet and savory fondues- including an especially delicious seasonal Pumpkin Raclette. Meticulously concocted champagne punch is served in a silver punch bowl- and a delight.

MIDTOWN WEST
Wonjo
[23 W. 32nd St.] [212.695.5815]

Charcoal tabletop grills make this the Korean BBQ spot to go to when other neighborhood places have replaced theirs with gas. The smoke filled room and 24 hour policy makes this the perfect retreat for cocktails and DIY grilling that will make you feel very far from home.

WEST VILLAGE
August
[359 Bleecker St.] [212.929.8727]

While you won’t actually get to play with the fire- you can saddle up near enough to it. The wood burning oven is the focus here and turns out first-rate dishes including slow cooked pig, roasted beets, sweetbreads, and an Alsatian onion and bacon tart that is to die for.

MIDTOWN EAST
Gyu-Kaku
[805 3rd Ave.] [212.702.8816]

The Japanese take on Korean BBQ. You pick your meat (including kobe beef, short ribs, skirt steak, and tongue.) And start grilling. Almost everything comes in convenient foiled packets that you throw on the grill (try the garlic mushrooms or asparagus.) There are even s’mores for dessert. Brunch and lunch will get you the best deals.

When you’re feeling forty-six percent of one thing, forty-eight percent of another, and have no idea what even happened to the missing eight percent maybe its time to try somewhere that does not stay within the defined lines. Head to one of these restaurants that excel in balancing their delicious duality (or three-ality.) And be perfectly content to be all mixed-up.

EAST VILLAGE
Matilda
[647 E. 11th St.] [212.777.3355]

The love child of a Tuscan and Mexican husband/wife team (and aptly named after their actual child) play tricks on both cuisines in their fusion restaurant. There is basil in the guacamole, mozzarella in the quesadillas and Prosecco in the mojito. The key is to forget any rustic yearnings for either cuisine and simply enjoy the quirky (and often quite delightful) combinations.

HARLEM
Talay
[701 W. 135th St.] [212.491.8300]

Two cuisines and two chefs makes Talay really two restaurants in one- but one where neither chef can fully resist the other’s ingredients. Chef Phojanakong of Kuma Inn handles the Thai dishes, while Chef Schwader mans the Latin. The result is being able to get both summer rolls and plantains, beef brisket and lemongrass-garlic baby back ribs.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Les Enfants Terribles
[37 Canal St.] [212.777.7518]

Moroccan. Brazilian. French. You can travel three continents in the course of one meal at this bistro tucked at the southern tip of Ludlow St. The appetizers are small, fussily constructed, and best not shared. The entrees are much more substantial with chicken tangine, casbah lamb, Brazillian fish stew, and typically a confit special rounding out the menu.

FORT GREENE
Abistro
[154 Carlton Ave.] [718.855.9455]

Chef Abdoul Gueye brings you Senegal by way of a French bistro (with a little Asian and American comfort food mixed in.) Indulge in expertly seasoned Sengalese fried chicken, moules frites (in a lemongrass broth), plantain gnocchi, and the absolutely superb spicy bread pudding.

You were stood up by Mr. Evidently Not The One, passed over for a promotion for some young Ben Brownoser, and bailed on by your guy best friend for his new fling. Cure your man-hating mood at one of these top kitchens helmed by lady chefs. And while you may not be ready to forgive and forget you’ll definitely remember there are much more delicious things to think about.

EAST VILLAGE
Prune
[54 E. 1st St.] [212.677.6221]

You could hit up brunch with the girls and bash boys over house-made lamb sausage, a fried oyster omelet and ten kinds of Bloody Marys (complete with a Red Stripe chaser). Or you could go for the bacon and marmalade sandwich at lunch- or for crispy sweetbreads and roast chicken at dinner. Any of the above will make you an immediate convert to Gabrielle Hamilton’s brilliant elevation of home cooking.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Little Giant
[85 Orchard St.] [212.226.5047]

Two ladies for the price of one! Owners Tasha Garcia and Julie Taras utilize green-market produce and artisanal purveyors to dole out delightful comfort food including bourbon-molasses short ribs, teleggio polenta and truly addictive buttermilk biscuits.

WEST VILLAGE
Pearl Oyster Bar
[18 Cornelia St.] [212.691.8211]

Rebecca Charles pretty much introduced New York to the lobster roll. And her perpetually packed restaurant continues to dish out New England favorites including ultra rich clam chowder, fried oysters, and her famous lobster roll.

WILLIAMSBURG
Marlow & Sons
[81 Broadway] [718.384.1441]

While the name reads male heirs, it is Caroline Fidanza who mans this kitchen (as well as Diner’s, next door). Start with superbly curated meats, cheeses, oysters and well-crafted cocktails. Then move on to the delightful seasonal specials that round out their short list of entrees.

You swooned over his love of animals. And then realized you really missed eating them. When tofu gets old send your new boy packing. After all, a life without cheese (or pork belly, for that matter) may not be worth living.

HARLEM
Dinosaur Bar-B-Que
[646 W. 131st St.] [212.694.1777]

Ravage the flesh off the bone of first-rate pork ribs while your “date” imagines ghostly cries from the former meat factory. With an actual menu heading of, “pulled, sliced, and chopped meats” there will be no mistaking your carnivore intentions. Enjoy Texas brisket, a “big ass pork plate”, and pretty awesome chicken wings – and if you’re feeling generous throw a celery stick to your now just “friend.”

EAST VILLAGE
Momofuku Ssäm Bar
[207 Second Ave.] [212.254.3500]

Home to the whole pork butt, pig’s head torchon, offal and cauliflower that I am quite sure is probably fried in pork’s fat as well. The menu has recently been upgraded from “We do not serve vegetarian-friendly items” to “we have few.” But don’t be fooled, you’ll be in for a wonderful porky treat, and your date will be out the door.

GRAMERCY
Casa Mono
[52 Irving Place] [212.253.2773]

Pass plates of pigs feet, bone marrow, tripe and cock’s combs tapas style. And then pry the sweet corn out of his vegan grip to round out your meal. In the end say it just isn’t going to work out, after all, he hasn’t been very good at sharing.

WILLIAMSBURG
Fette Sau
[354 Metropolitan Ave.] [718.963.3404]

If the 700 pounds of meat coming out of the smoker doesn’t send him running for the hills he might be open to changing his herbivore ways. Your food will be served by weight and on butcher paper. Slather the sauce on, grab a beer, and toast to “fat pigs.”

Going out to eat with a vegan typically consists of them scavenging the menu for the one “vegan” item and then praying it isn’t sitting atop a giant slab of meat in the kitchen -OR- going to a vegan restaurant where you have to pretend that the soy-flavored-cardboard is a fair replacement for chicken fingers. Take dinner back at one of these haute vegan eateries- you’ll be impressed that the food is actually food- and they, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choice.

GRAMERCY
Pure Food & Wine
[54 Irving Place] [212.477.1010]

With a lovely garden, a kitchen that doesn’t cook anything over 118 degrees, and a highly-crafted delectable menu of “raw” food- your date couldn’t be happier than if Thumper was sitting on the table sharing his meal with him. Dishes are prepared with blenders, dehydrators, and good old fashioned knives and whisks. Even the vegan desserts (which normally are more a punishment than a reward) impress.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Teany
[90 Rivington St.] [212.475.9190]

Stop in for afternoon tea for two and sample scones and sandwiches (such as a BLT with tempeh bacon and veganaise.) Additional offerings include a wide variety or salads, sandwiches, and an amazing gazpacho with avocado and mango. For an additional sweet treat head 3 blocks south to Babycakes (248 Broom St.) to indulge in delightful gluten, wheat, dairy, egg, and soy free cupcakes (that are remarkably awesome.)

EAST VILLAGE
Counter
[105 1st Ave.] [212.982.5870]

Toast organic martinis featuring house-made vodka infusions (from herbs grown in their rooftop garden of course.) The room is warm and chic and the menu is far from your usual crunchy-granola fare. The cauliflower risotto, tornados of seitan, vegetable b’steeya, and “burger” (wild mushroom pate) are favorites and with hundreds of organic wines to choose from this date could go quite late into the night.

UPPER EAST SIDE
Candle 79
[154 E. 79th St.] [212.537.7179]

Settle into plush seats and romantic lighting and eat seitan, quinoa, and tempeh until your heart is content. And while cashew “sour cream” on zucchini enchiladas is certainly not the same as the real thing- you and your date with certainly appreciate the attention paid to all the extras. For dessert hope the vegan nutter butter ice cream is part of that night’s sorbet and ice cream tasting.

For some people, a meal without dessert just isn’t a meal. And for others (apparently nursed on Karo syrup) a walk, a block, or a talk without eight small cookies is unbearable. Pacify them with one of the following quick sweet stops, which are sure to satisfy (at least for the moment.)

UPPER WEST SIDE
Bouchon Bakery
[10 Columbus Circle] [212.823.9366]

Oh the glorious, glorious “Nutter Butter.” It’s massive! It’s heavenly! And it’s apparently made with Skippy peanut butter (check out the recipe.) But yes, Thomas Kellar’s Time Warner Center bakery turns out some delightful treats. And the saucer-sized Nutter Butter is a perfect place to start.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Sugar Sweet Sunshine
[126 Rivington St.] [212.995.1960]

While the cupcakes are tempting (and justly so, they are delicious) once you have the banana pudding there is just no going back. So enjoy all the pistachio, pumpkin, and red velvet cupcakes you can before making the switch. There is just something so addictive about the combination of pudding, ‘nilla wafers, bananas, and cupcake parts that makes other treats seem less sweet.

EAST VILLAGE
Dessert Club (AKA: Chikalicious Puddin’)
[204 E. 10th St.] [212.475.0929]

Who doesn’t appreciate when fancy dessert gods tackle the common sweet? And while Chikalicious Dessert Bar has delightful mutli-course treats- it is their outpost across the street that churns out the perfect portable pick-me-up. Try the brioche bread pudding – it’s lovely.

UNION SQUARE
Wafels & Dinges
[14th St. & 3rd Ave.] [646.257.2592]

Just try walking past this dessert truck without giving into the wafting scent of warm Belgian waffles. Choose your waffle and your “dinges” (strawberries, whipped cream, nutella, dulce de leche, maple syrup, and chocolate syrup) douse with powered sugar and enjoy. Additional locations include Midtown, Williamsburg, and Fort Greene.

This is for the friend you almost killed during the forth of July fireworks because while everyone else said “ahhh” she said “strontium carbonate! barium chloride!” Impress her with some molecular gastronomy (she’ll like the phrase even if the following chefs do not) and prepare to listen to her gush excitedly as she dissects what lasers, chemical powders, flash freezing, and “glue” went into each course.

LOWER EAST SIDE
wd-50
[50 Clinton St.] [212.477.2900]

Wylie Dufresne’s cutting-edge cooking is what got New York in such a tizzy over beakers in the kitchen in the first place. But rest assured, he is certainly more chef than chemist and the odd combinations while head-scratching are generally delightful (popcorn soup!) Indulge in the tasting menu or choose your courses by ingredients that strike your fancy just don’t second guess if they go with what they are paired with (somehow, they always do.)

SOHO
Tailor
[525 Broome St.] [212.334.5182]

Sam Mason, former dessert chef of wd-50, struck out on his own blending sweet, savory, and all sorts of tricks at his soho eatery. The combinations may seem absurd (mango ravioli, mustard gnocchi, marrow beads) but when it works it really works. The pork belly with miso butterscotch is heavenly and the crumble cocktail (brown butter, rum, and cloves) almost makes me wish for cold weather.

UPPER WEST SIDE
Jean Georges
[1 Central Park West] [212.299.3900]

Executive pastry chef, Johnny Iuzzini, does way more than just cookies. Utilizing everything from sugar to hydrocolloids and whisks to medical equipment he creates such inventive desserts as rhubarb noodles and Meyer lemon flexi-curd.

EAST VILLAGE
PDT
[113 St. Mark’s Pl.] [212.614.0386]

Your friend may just have to change what she’s mixing after tasting Jim Meehan’s cocktails (bacon-infused bourbon, really? genius.) This secret bar is accessed through a vintage telephone booth in Crif Dogs. Even better, you can order off their menu- pair your cocktail with the Wylie Dog (complete with deep-fried mayo, freeze-dried onions, and tomato molasses) and thank your chemistry teacher.

If your date is afraid of a crowd (or of running into his “soon-to-be-ex”) head to one of these super tiny restaurants and introduce yourself to the six other people you’ll be dining with. Let’s just hope he isn’t claustrophobic as well.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Zucco: Le French Diner
[188 Orchard St.] [212.677.5200]

Cozy up in this tiny room where even the wine glasses are miniature (and with Cote de Rhone being a mere $24 a bottle you will be refilling often.) Classic salads and sandwiches (frisee aux lardon and la croque madam are favorites) accompany moules frites, duck confit, and hearty specials.

EAST VILLAGE
Degustation Wine & Tasting Bar
[239 E. 5th St.] [212.979.1012]

Sixteen seats hug an open kitchen that turns out divine small plates. Meander through croquets, poached eggs, and grilled quail on your own or opt for the $50 five-course chef’s tasting. The unobtrusive setting, service, and sound levels are the perfect escape from a crowd.

WEST VILLAGE
Little Havana
[30 Cornelia St.] [212.255.2212]

This hole-in-the-wall, closet-sized Cuban spot is so small that you have to traipse through the kitchen to use the restrooms. But don’t let that discourage you. What the room lacks in size, the kitchen more than makes up for in flavor. Enjoy first-rate ropa vieja, arroz con pollo, and rice and beans.

UPPER WEST SIDE
Voza
[949 Columbus Ave.] [212.666.8602]

While the menu here may seem a bit schizophrenic (it bills itself as French-Italian but really falls all over the map.) The key is to order anything that seems like a southern favorite (even if the mac and cheese is disguised as “macaroni aux deux fromages.”) The crab cakes, pork chop, and roasted corn are all stellar. And the four tables and unassuming neighborhood means the only crowds you will fight here are the locals.

Your mother always said to eat your greens. Show her one better at these eco-friendly eateries where solar power, reclaimed wood, and rickshaw delivery systems share the menu with (mostly) organic eats.

FORT GREENE, BROOKLYN
Habana Outpost
[757 Fulton St.] [718.858.9500]

The corn and frozen mojitos would have been enough to create a following. But Sean Meenan’s unwavering commitment to the community and environment raises boozing and snacking to a civic duty. The Brooklyn offshoot of Soho’s Café Habana was designed entirely with conservation in mind. The furniture is recycled plastic and aluminum, the door salvaged from a church, even the rainwater is collected and reused to water the plants. Add in solar panels and the post office truck turned kitchen and you have New York’s first eco-eatery.

EAST VILLAGE
Birdbath Bakery
[223 First Ave.] [646.722.6565]

At this bakery everything from the floors to the ingredients to their delivery system is totally green. Rickshaws are used to transport their organic baked goods to their other locations (West Village, and soon-to-be-opened Battery Park.) The store itself pays homage with walls made from wheat and sunflower seed, cork floors, and a discount for anyone who shows up via bike. And their croissants are good too.

MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS
Community Food & Juice Bar
[2893 Broadway] [212.665.2800]

The founders of the Lower East Side’s Clinton St. Baking Co. bring their energy and some new energy saving tactics uptown. Greener kitchen equipment, local produce, composting, and tables made of reclaimed wood make indulging in their delightful comfort food even more satisfying. Plus: grass-fed burgers have no calories, right?

CHELSEA
Del Posto
[85 Tenth Ave.] [212.497.8090]

This fine-dining mammoth of a restaurant in no way implies conservation but does practice some impressive eco-friendly moves.  Biodiesel trucks run off used cooking oil and transport compost to an upstate farm and produce back, while bottled water is replaced in favor of filtering and carbonating their own. Definitely makes an expensive (albeit delicious) meal even easier to swallow.