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If your friend is a total boozehound who won’t step foot anywhere that doesn’t visibly look like it can keep him properly imbibed – don’t cringe when he suggests “dinner” at one of his favorite dives. Instead steer him to one of the following bars – that just happen to dish out excellent food as well.

WEST VILLAGE
Blind Tiger Ale House
[281 Bleecker St.] [212.462.4682]

This brew pub with a barnyard feel serves a fantastic banh mi, “Bloody Beast” (a neat little roast beef slider with cheddar, red onion, and bloody mary sauce) deviled eggs, and a Murray’s cheese plate. Just as enticing are the 28 beers on tap – and the fact you can pack one up in a growler for home.

EAST VILLAGE
Jimmy’s No. 43
[43 E. 7th St.] [212.982.3006]

He will like the beer sausage, mussels in beer, and excellent selection of German, Belgian, and American craft beers. You’ll like that everything is organic, locally sourced, and positively delicious. The menu changes nightly – so try as much as you can… and wash it down with a cold one.

PARK SLOPE
Beer Table
[427 7th Ave.] [718.965.1196]

Delicious and decidedly dedicated to beer – this Park Slope favorite has excellent food as well. Even better, make reservations for this Monday and be there when they partner with Saxelby Cheesemongers. Fifty dollars gets you five brews and five cheeses (all which promise to be superbly curated and delightfully interesting: Italian-made, Belgian-style beer paired with American-made, Italian-style cheese.)

WEST VILLAGE
Wilfie & Nell
[228 W. 4th St.] [212.242.2990]

Saddle up with a sidecar and Berkshire pork sliders, scotch and scotch eggs, a beer and a corned-beef sandwich, and assorted bacon-y things with well more assorted bacon-y things. The drinks are well-constructed, the crowd pretty, and the kitchen happily open until 2am.

You know who you are. You puzzle over everything on the menu. Debate the minutest detail. Ask your companion to choose for you. And then follow the server into the kitchen and change your mind – to only wish later that you went with the sole instead. Give yourself (and your companions) a break and head to one of these fickle-friendly establishments.

UPPER EAST SIDE
Park Avenue Winter
[100 E. 63rd St.] [212.644.1900]

What could be more fitting than a restaurant that changes its name, décor, and menu – as frequently as the seasons? The filet mignon sandwich at lunch is fantastic – and fish dishes are first rate. Plus, it’s a good thing your fickle nature doesn’t lend itself to getting too attached to things because it’ll be entirely different next season.

CHELSEA
Tia Pol
[205 Tenth Ave.] [212.675.8805]

Although we certainly miss Chef Alex Raij, her former kitchen is still turning out flawless Basque tapas. Order whatever is on the chalkboard and then supplement it with chorizo, head-on shrimp, croquettes, and several cod dishes. And as these are snacking sizes – your appetite will be able to keep up with your fickleness.

CHINATOWN
Ping’s Seafood
[22 Mott St.] [212.602.9988]

Try out this concept – carts of food roll by and you point at what you want. Before you even have time to change your mind another cart will be along with a whole slew of new options. At Ping’s the room is smaller – and food better than at some of the larger Chinatown Dim Sum halls. Come on the weekend when the selection is better – and be prepared to approach the steam cart yourself when it’s too crowded to wield it through the aisles.

WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN
Zenkichi
[77 N. 6th St.] [718.388.8985]

Slip into a curtained booth and order the seasonal omakasi menu for two ($96) and sit back as each carefully constructed course is delivered. The only choice you’ll make is between the Pork Belly Kakuni (magically simmered for three days) or Yellowtail and Daikon – but really, is there actually a choice when pork belly is involved?

Instead of the usual resolutions:

1. Lose 20 lbs because you’ve turned into a Christmas ham.
2. Go to the gym (so #1 can be possible.)
3. Eat out less (because you’re broke and wasted money on yet another gym membership you’ll never use.)
4. Anything to do with “getting” or “keeping” a man.

Why not seek out the holy grail of food? Because really nothing about 1-4 sounds like any fun at all.

EAST VILLAGE
Momofuku Ko
[163 First Ave.] [No Phone.]

Because even if your fingers and luck are both on their A-game at 10 am to land you one of the 12 heavily sought after seats – there is still the $100 to pay for it (although with 10 courses and David Chang’s godly inventiveness it is really quite a good deal.) So start packing PB&J, save your lunch money, do some finger crunches (or bribe someone at Time Warner to accidentally shut off internet to everyone save you and Mr. Chang) and then please – take me.

ROVING
Mister Softee
[Various Locations.] [No Phone.]

After a failed summer ’08 chasing every truck that went through the neighborhood in hopes of the elusive blueberry dipped cone we will not accept defeat in ’09. Having been spotted on a truck at McCarron Pool but never materializing the hunt is on. Keep us posted if you spy the rare creation yourself.

WEST VILLAGE
The Waverly Inn
[16 Bank St.] [No Phone.]

Not that I think the mac and cheese could possibly justify a near $50 price tag – or the exclusivity that surrounds the Graydon Carter’s Waverly Inn. But perhaps they could just instate reservations so that we don’t have to read about it so much. And yes, you can just show up early, smile sweetly and hope that they’ll let you in – but is it even possible to enjoy truffle fries wondering if you’ve been seated in less posh “Siberia” section?

PROSPECT HEIGHTS, BROOKLYN
The Garden Café
[620 Vanderbilt Ave.] [718.857.8863]

Okay- so you have to peer through a window and closed gate to see if this restaurant is open (dinner only and subject to the owners’ vacations) which is slightly intimidating for a restaurant that otherwise is defined by its unassuming grace. Call ahead instead and gain entry to what is rumored to be one of loveliest – and more economical restaurants – at only $32 for three courses.

Pack your favorite ladies, some booze (where applicable), and a fight-worthy grab gift to partake in some real holiday fun (not the kind you have been pretending to have with your folks all week.) For a real treat trade up at one of these swap-happy restaurants where you can pass presents, drinks, and food.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Kuma Inn
[113 Ludlow St. - 2nd Fl.] [212.353.8866]

The delicious Asian tapas will keep you from fighting over the gifts (and have you fighting over the food instead!) The lengthy menu (and added specials) means there is no shortage of things to choose from and the drunken shrimp, Chinese sausage, and mussels in coconut curry are all top picks. Bonus- the b.y.o.b. policy will make sure you are passing the wine liberally as well.

EAST VILLAGE
Mercadito
[179 Ave. B] [212.529.6490]

Chef Patricio Sandoval devised tacos meant for sharing- agree to each pick a different one (at last count there were ten options plus specials.) Don’t skip the carne, carnitas, or camaron. Top it off with a couple orders of the guacamole sampler and as many rounds of margaritas as you can handle (made strong and with fresh squeezed juice.)

SOHO
Boqueria
[171 Spring St.] [212.343.4255]

The brand new location and hipper neighborhood will give your friends the wow factor – while chef Seamus Mullen’s (of Suba and Boqueria Flatiron) reputation ensures the food will be divine as well. Take over the large table and order the Paella Valencia and then add on whatever tapas strike your fancy. The Escudella, Txipirones, and Brandada de Bacalao should not be missed.

DUMBO, BROOKLYN
Superfine
[126 Front St.] [718.243.9005]

Okay, so the name alone would be reason enough to start a ruckus girl’s night out here. Luckily though the first-rate pork chop, house-made sausage, and well-constructed drinks do not disappoint. The pool table, live music, and cute bartenders mean that your party will continue (and potentially grow) even after you finish dessert.

You flirt shamelessly. He’s says, “Let’s do dinner Thursday night- you pick the place.” You say, “Great it’s a date” and then cringe- is it really a date? Like a date-date? Why did you have to say the word date? And even though he is the one that did the asking, you’re the one feeling like you are about to be rejected – and you have to pick the place. Choose one of these carefully middling restaurants where you can play cordial until you are comfortably feeding each other dessert at the end.

PARK SLOPE, BROOKLYN
Al di la
[248 Fifth Ave.] [718.783.4565]

The communal tables here are not the ruckus they are at say, Kampuchea. But they will still grant you the illusion of being out with a group (even if it is a group that has absolutely no interest in talking to you.) Handmade pastas are superb. As are the braised rabbit and hanger steak. By the time you get to the gianduitto (an amazing chocolate gelato with hazelnuts) you’ll have forgotten everyone else in the room.

EAST VILLAGE
Chiyono
[328 E. 6th St.] [212.673.3984]

This charming Japanese restaurant is hidden in the midst of curry row. Slip in and feel quite far away while you enjoy braised pork belly, miso cod, fried oysters, and plum pickles straight from Iwaki, Japan (and the Chef’s mother’s garden no less.) By the end of the Omakase Tasting (a terrific value at $30) you will feel the urge to never return to the outside world.

FORTE GREENE, BROOKLYN
Pequeña
[86 S. Portland Ave.] [718.643.0000]

Yes, it is small. Which means you’ll have no choice but to be up close and personal with your date. The black bean and plantain quesadilla is fantastic – as are the fish tacos. And really- what better test is there than a couple margaritas to discover that you both have secretly wanted to make out for months.

HARLEM
Zoma
[2084 Frederick Douglass Blvd.] [212.662.0620]

On the one hand sharing your food is quite romantic. On the other, eating with your hands generally is not so much. Zoma magically combines both. The Harlem Ethiopian eatery sports low lights and superbly flavored food. Try one of the samplers for two and feed each other slow cooked stews, lentils, and vegetables with bits of injera- flat bread that here (happily) isn’t as spongy as other Ethiopian joints.

Thanksgiving is here! Which does not mean going to a restaurant for your holiday meal (I don’t care how small your apartment is or how well [fill-in-your-own-restaurant] does it- it’s still sad.) However, after you come out of your Thursday turkey coma and think that you need a least a year before you do that to yourself again. Don’t be fooled- head to one of these restaurants and get another fix.

WEST VILLAGE
The Little Owl
[90 Bedford St.] [212.741.4695]

If you are feeling slightly cheated by your mother’s assault on Thanksgiving (dry turkey, rehydrated potato flakes, and some limp green beans) call a do-over and enjoy some fancier autumnal eats. Start with a bibb salad dressed with pumpkin seed vinaigrette. And then take comfort in the crispy chicken, brussel sprouts, and side of bourbon, maple squash. Finish with the delightful pear crisp.

HARLEM
Sylvia’s
[328 Lenox Ave.] [212.996.0660]

This soul food institution, in addition to glorious ribs and fried chicken, doles out thanksgiving staples – candied yams, mashed potatoes and sweet potato pie – all year long. And if you are against baked chicken as a stand in you can always head up on a Thursday for stewed turkey wings and cornbread dressing.

FORTE GREENE, BROOKLYN
Jive Turkey
[441 Myrtle Ave.] [718.797.1688]

Stop whining that your brother once again stole the turkey leg and head to this turkey factory to get yours. Pick up a combination of fried turkey parts, mashed potatoes, cornbread dressing and yam brulee. Better yet- schedule a second Thanksgiving (with people you can actually stand) and choose from fifteen variations on the full bird including: peach bourbon, red wine cranberry and Cajun.

UPPER WEST SIDE
Kitchenette
[1272 Amsterdam] [212.531.7600]

While it is certainly recommended that you get your fill of turkey meatloaf, mashed potatoes, greens, and gravy – it is the pies here that take center stage. Indulge in first-rate berry, chocolate pecan, pumpkin and classic double-crusted apple by the slice… or the pie. And downtowners don’t need to fret- there is a second location at 156 Chambers St..

Six hours of dancing and god knows how many cocktails find you at someone else’s apartment with a piercing headache and pretty foggy recollection of the last 12 hours. Before embarking on your walk of shame- share some grub and awkward conversation at one of these brunch spots.

WEST VILLAGE
Good
[89 Greenwich Ave.] [212.691.8080]

After a night of behaving badly, you are certainly going to need something good. Cheddar cornbread, buttermilk biscuits, and orange sour-cream donuts make it hard to even get past the bread menu. If you do the country frittata, lemon ricotta pancakes, or the goodegg sandwhich will be your reward. And as there is no real chance of you ever making it in before eleven- you can enjoy the brilliant green chili mac and cheese from the lunch menu.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Essex
[120 Essex St.] [212.533.9616]

Hair of the dog. Start right back up with this booze brunch. $16 buys you one of their brunch entrees and three drinks (although when you add in mid-glass fillings it is often even more.) Try the crispy potato pancakes, bannas foster French toast, or Mexican Matzo Brei. And don’t worry; even the few people that made it home- are still liable to be wearing their outfit from the night before.

WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN
Egg
[135 N. 5th St.] [718.302.5151]

Biscuits and gravy, cheese grits, and hash browns will help soak up the alcohol from the night before. And the fact that everything is from local producers will make you feel better about the massive amounts you will consume. Try the Eggs Rothko (a soft cooked egg tucked in brioche and topped with melted cheddar) happily broiled tomatoes make the menu as well.

CHELSEA
Cookshop
[156 Tenth Ave.] [212.924.4440]

Don’t even bother trying to remember how you made it to Chelsea. Simply indulge in beignets, skillet eggs, cornmeal pancakes, twice-smoked bacon and even a jelly donut. The Chilaquilles (baked eggs Huevos Rancho style) are top notch. And if you are feeling revitalized head to a nearby gallery for a proper date.

Dinner with the Ex. Whether it is for closure (or just to get your damn stuff back) you’re going to need a physical place to meet – and one that:

1. isn’t romantic
2. isn’t in either one of your neighborhoods (to save you from a too-close-to-home accidental hook-up)
3. and certainly no place you used to frequent as a “we”

Make nice and not out at one of these choice restaurants.

PROSPECT HEIGHTS, BROOKLYN
Franny’s
[295 Flatbush Ave.] [718.230.0221]

Not that pizza and wine at the ever-charming Franny’s can’t be romantic- but there are enough focus points: the bright room, the presence of families, to remind you that it doesn’t have to be. Concentrate on the pizza – the Tomato, Olio Verde and Sea Salt, and the Mozzarella, Garlic and Basil (unlike your ex) will never let you down.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Barrio Chino
[253 Broome St.] [212.228.6710]

Fantastic salsas, guacamole, tacos, mole and house-infused tequilas will put you in a much better mood – and the lively noise level will help prevent him from launching into a why-did-you-dump-me monologue. An added precaution: if your eyes do start to water- you can always blame it on the spicy habanero-grapefruit margarita.

WEST VILLAGE
The Spotted Pig
[314 W. 11th St.] [212.620.0393]

The in between meals meal is the perfect time to meet up with an ex- you have an excuse to look fabulous because of course you have plans after (and to be safe actually make plans so that he doesn’t turn into them.) And thankfully April Bloomfield’s in between meals menu includes the Roquefort burger to provide all the comfort you need.

UPPER WEST SIDE
The Mermaid Inn
[568 Amsterdam Ave.] [212.799.7400]

Hit up their classic New England fish fry on a Wednesday night and indulge in fish and chips, creamed corn, hush puppies and cole slaw. If the $18 price tag doesn’t make you feel better about losing your meal ticket – than the $2 PBRs will.

Well maybe not the world… but Stephanie who up until a week ago subsisted off of some combination of bread, cheese, and sugar – discovered due to a yeast & mold allergy that she can no longer eat any of them (as well as no mushrooms, wine, vinegar, and a whole slew of other things that make eating, never mind eating out, seem like a rather impossible task.) Try the following restaurants for some delicious yeast-free eats (with or without Stephanie.)

MIDTOWN WEST
Better Burger
[587 9th Ave.] [212.629.6622]

With burgers and dogs made with 100% meat there is no chance of yeast-infected fillers in the mix. Skip the bun and top with soy American, red onions and zesty guacamole. Oven baked fries round out the meal- and an ingredient book makes is really easy to check which tempting condiments work for you. Additional locations include Chelsea & Murray Hill.

SOHO
The Yoghurt Place
[71 Sullivan St.] [212.219.3500]

Greek yogurt! It’s thick, creamy, delicious and due to live cultures – totally acceptable to eat (don’t ask me why yeast running around in one thing is bad and cultures running around in another is good but it works.) Replace your ice cream fix with yogurt topped with nuts and honey. It’s truly lovely. And while you are there pick up some tzatziki for home.

UPPER WEST SIDE
Café Viva
[2578 Broadway] [212.663.8482]

Pizza. Yes, Pizza. Luckily for Stephanie their Pizza Pura is made with a yeast free, dairy free & wheat free crust and is available “Naturale” topped with organic tomato sauce, miso tofu, eggplant, zucchini, red pepper & spinach or “Vegetarian” topped with organic tomato sauce, onions, broccoli, and soy cheese (hold the mushrooms.) And luckily for you, it’s quite tasty as well.

WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN
Chai Home Kitchen
[124 N. 6th St.] [718.599.5889]

Forget Stephanie- head here for fantastic peanut dumplings, curries, and an excellent duck tamarind. And because most Thai dishes are rice based and soy sauce free it just happens to be generally yeast-free (but double check with your server to make sure!)

Not that booze makes talking about books better- but a large table, a leisurely meal, and the b.y.o. policy at these restaurants offers the perfect environment for a book club date. So finish up those last couple chapters, pick up a bottle of wine, and head on over and join the discussion.

LOWER EAST SIDE
A Casa Fox
[173 Orchard St.] [212.253.1900]

Claim the large wooden table and then order one of everything on the menu. The empanadas are phenomenal- order the full size versions and split them rather than the sampler (the filling to crust ratio works better.) Try the pulled pork, spiced beef, or chorizo. The fried manchego, risotto croquettes, and crab cakes serve well to round the meal. Bring a bottle of rum and buy a mojito start-up.

SOHO
Ivo & Lulu
[558 Broome St.] [212.226.4399]

Enjoy French-Caribbean fare at this budget bistro (with entrees around $15 and no corkage fee.) Don’t be surprised if they bring your party back outside to the storefront next door- it will give you more room (and fill up by the time you are ready to leave.) Pack a few bottles of wine and indulge in duck confit, boar and sage sausage, and smoked mussels.

WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN
La Superior
[295 Berry St.] [718.388.5988]

Pick up beers on the corner, push a couple tables together, and start ordering mouth-watering Mexican street food. Street style quesadillas, tacos, gorditas and awesome salsas will have you totally addicted. And the super-friendly staff is more likely to pull up a chair and join the discussion than try and rush you out the door.

CARROLL GARDENS, BROOKLYN
Lucali’s
[575 Henry St.] [718.858.4086]

Superb thin-crust pies make the at times lengthy wait worth it. Put your name in and head around the block to pick up a couple bottles of wine. Or use the time to jump-start the book talk- or accept that once the pizza comes all responses will be reduced to “mmmmm.”

If you’re in a more-the-merrier mood, saddle up with strangers at one of these communal tables. The environment is noisy, casual, and full of unpredictable encounters. And with diners in all stages of their meal you can conveniently check out their food (or ask how it is) without the awkward neck craning.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Kampuchea
[78 Rivington St.] [212.529.3901]

Start with a few of their Cambodian small plates (the pork belly and baby back ribs are both stellar) and if you are a pair split the Num Pang sandwich tasting for two. The sandwiches are served on a toasted baguette and topped with pickled carrots, cilantro and chili mayo – pulled oxtail, catfish, and coconut tiger shrimp are favorites. And happily, pickled vegetables pack a punch and accompany most dishes.

MIDTOWN WEST
Bon Appétit Supper Club & Café
[221 W. 57th St.]

Give Chipotle a break, for two weeks only (October 23-31) Bon Appétit will open a restaurant to cure your midtown lunch woes (the suppers are by invitation only). So grab a seat with a co-worker at one of the large communal tables brought in just for this occasion and enjoy Charlie Trotter’s leek soup, Mario Batali’s chorizo empanda, and Michael Psilakis’ greek salad (check out the full menu). As if you needed an additional draw there will be chef demos, Q&A’s, and book signings.

UNION SQUARE
Republic
[37 Union Square West] [212.627.7172]

The super-sized communal tables and quick turn over allows this trendy Thai restaurant to keep their prices low (with nearly everything around $10). The cold beef noodles, pad thai, and curry duck noodles are all sure bets. And the fried wontons and coconut shrimp are fantastic accompaniments.

WILLIAMSBURG
DuMont Burger
[314 Bedford Ave.] [718.384.6127]

Head to the offshoot of DuMont for a good burger, a beer, and 30 new friends- grab a seat where you can and enjoy some tasty comfort food. The burger is solid, and if you aren’t in the mood the pulled pork and mac & cheese are more than suitable substitutions.

When you’re feeling forty-six percent of one thing, forty-eight percent of another, and have no idea what even happened to the missing eight percent maybe its time to try somewhere that does not stay within the defined lines. Head to one of these restaurants that excel in balancing their delicious duality (or three-ality.) And be perfectly content to be all mixed-up.

EAST VILLAGE
Matilda
[647 E. 11th St.] [212.777.3355]

The love child of a Tuscan and Mexican husband/wife team (and aptly named after their actual child) play tricks on both cuisines in their fusion restaurant. There is basil in the guacamole, mozzarella in the quesadillas and Prosecco in the mojito. The key is to forget any rustic yearnings for either cuisine and simply enjoy the quirky (and often quite delightful) combinations.

HARLEM
Talay
[701 W. 135th St.] [212.491.8300]

Two cuisines and two chefs makes Talay really two restaurants in one- but one where neither chef can fully resist the other’s ingredients. Chef Phojanakong of Kuma Inn handles the Thai dishes, while Chef Schwader mans the Latin. The result is being able to get both summer rolls and plantains, beef brisket and lemongrass-garlic baby back ribs.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Les Enfants Terribles
[37 Canal St.] [212.777.7518]

Moroccan. Brazilian. French. You can travel three continents in the course of one meal at this bistro tucked at the southern tip of Ludlow St. The appetizers are small, fussily constructed, and best not shared. The entrees are much more substantial with chicken tangine, casbah lamb, Brazillian fish stew, and typically a confit special rounding out the menu.

FORT GREENE
Abistro
[154 Carlton Ave.] [718.855.9455]

Chef Abdoul Gueye brings you Senegal by way of a French bistro (with a little Asian and American comfort food mixed in.) Indulge in expertly seasoned Sengalese fried chicken, moules frites (in a lemongrass broth), plantain gnocchi, and the absolutely superb spicy bread pudding.

You were stood up by Mr. Evidently Not The One, passed over for a promotion for some young Ben Brownoser, and bailed on by your guy best friend for his new fling. Cure your man-hating mood at one of these top kitchens helmed by lady chefs. And while you may not be ready to forgive and forget you’ll definitely remember there are much more delicious things to think about.

EAST VILLAGE
Prune
[54 E. 1st St.] [212.677.6221]

You could hit up brunch with the girls and bash boys over house-made lamb sausage, a fried oyster omelet and ten kinds of Bloody Marys (complete with a Red Stripe chaser). Or you could go for the bacon and marmalade sandwich at lunch- or for crispy sweetbreads and roast chicken at dinner. Any of the above will make you an immediate convert to Gabrielle Hamilton’s brilliant elevation of home cooking.

LOWER EAST SIDE
Little Giant
[85 Orchard St.] [212.226.5047]

Two ladies for the price of one! Owners Tasha Garcia and Julie Taras utilize green-market produce and artisanal purveyors to dole out delightful comfort food including bourbon-molasses short ribs, teleggio polenta and truly addictive buttermilk biscuits.

WEST VILLAGE
Pearl Oyster Bar
[18 Cornelia St.] [212.691.8211]

Rebecca Charles pretty much introduced New York to the lobster roll. And her perpetually packed restaurant continues to dish out New England favorites including ultra rich clam chowder, fried oysters, and her famous lobster roll.

WILLIAMSBURG
Marlow & Sons
[81 Broadway] [718.384.1441]

While the name reads male heirs, it is Caroline Fidanza who mans this kitchen (as well as Diner’s, next door). Start with superbly curated meats, cheeses, oysters and well-crafted cocktails. Then move on to the delightful seasonal specials that round out their short list of entrees.

You swooned over his love of animals. And then realized you really missed eating them. When tofu gets old send your new boy packing. After all, a life without cheese (or pork belly, for that matter) may not be worth living.

HARLEM
Dinosaur Bar-B-Que
[646 W. 131st St.] [212.694.1777]

Ravage the flesh off the bone of first-rate pork ribs while your “date” imagines ghostly cries from the former meat factory. With an actual menu heading of, “pulled, sliced, and chopped meats” there will be no mistaking your carnivore intentions. Enjoy Texas brisket, a “big ass pork plate”, and pretty awesome chicken wings – and if you’re feeling generous throw a celery stick to your now just “friend.”

EAST VILLAGE
Momofuku Ssäm Bar
[207 Second Ave.] [212.254.3500]

Home to the whole pork butt, pig’s head torchon, offal and cauliflower that I am quite sure is probably fried in pork’s fat as well. The menu has recently been upgraded from “We do not serve vegetarian-friendly items” to “we have few.” But don’t be fooled, you’ll be in for a wonderful porky treat, and your date will be out the door.

GRAMERCY
Casa Mono
[52 Irving Place] [212.253.2773]

Pass plates of pigs feet, bone marrow, tripe and cock’s combs tapas style. And then pry the sweet corn out of his vegan grip to round out your meal. In the end say it just isn’t going to work out, after all, he hasn’t been very good at sharing.

WILLIAMSBURG
Fette Sau
[354 Metropolitan Ave.] [718.963.3404]

If the 700 pounds of meat coming out of the smoker doesn’t send him running for the hills he might be open to changing his herbivore ways. Your food will be served by weight and on butcher paper. Slather the sauce on, grab a beer, and toast to “fat pigs.”